Showing posts with label Single Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Single Parenting. Show all posts

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Effects Of Single Parenting

The number of single parents has increased over the last twenty years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.

How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.

Conflicting studies have shown that there are positive and negative effects of single parenting. Some studies show that children who have been exposed to single parenting have lower self-esteem that that of shared parenting.

On the other hand, some studies show that single or shared parenting does not have any effect on the growth or well-being of a parent. How a parent deals with a child, and oneself can mold the dynamics of the family, which can lead to the emotional well-being of both the parent and the child.

If the single parent relationship between the parent and child is carefully managed, the following positive outcomes may be felt within the family:

1) Gradual lessening of tension- Prior to being a single parent, feelings of tension are present and are felt by the parents and children.

Oftentimes, the feelings of the child are not felt by both parents. When the situation is explained to the child, this can lead to a feeling of understanding on why the separation happened.

This understanding can help the child cope with the current situation, and thus gradually release tension towards the child’s parents, and to other people as well.

2) More time with each other- Tension felt during the discussions on separation and divorce lead to neglecting children. Screaming matches, and not speaking to each other are common feelings felt by children and the parent.

The effect of being a single parent thus gives more time to address the needs of children, and open communication channels between the two. Planning vacations, and bonding sessions with each other can be a result of this. More time would lead to a more relaxed family atmosphere.

3) Re-establishing ties with the community- Children and parents can work together, and can even establish relationships with the community because of this effect of single parenting.

Single parents can ask help from their neighbors regarding the care of their children, such as baby-sitting or helping out with household chores. This often leads to a positive feeling of involvement on both the parent and the child, and the neighborhood as well.

4) Out of the box experience to the child- Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can broaden his/her experiences pertaining to life. The child is more sensitive and aware to what goes around his/her life, and can feel that the world does not revolve around him.

5) A sense of accomplishment – When a child is designated with small responsibilities, a sense of accomplishment usually is felt. Since additional responsibilities have been added, a feeling of openness is added to the sense of accomplishment felt. This is because a feat has been done to help out in the household. This makes the child feel that he/she is an important member of the household.

6) Prioritizing to lead to work and life balance – Single parents need to learn the value of prioritizing. Sometimes, new tasks are needed to be able to look for new types of jobs to support the family.

Schedules, school and financial obligations need to be prioritized to be able to maintain work and life balance. Attaining work life balance is a continuous challenge to the parent, due to additional responsibilities of managing a family.

7) Active role in decision making – Children can play an active role in the decision making of single parents. Single parents need additional minds to think most especially in making major decisions.

Unveiling the Possible Effects of Single Parenting

Times are rapidly changing. The elderly always argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrown the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions.

Moralists and conservative people are almost always raising their brows and expressing disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.

Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yester years are now very common have set minds of people that they actually are just normal and acceptable.

The Child

Because single parenting or parenthood is somehow a choice and decision, taken by the parent, one voice is still unheard of. It is that of the child’s.

Psychologists and advocates argue and insist that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect to the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.

Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent.

Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.

Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.

Because traditional and normal families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids, single parenting somehow makes the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted.

The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.

Single parents

One of the issues that were raising the ire of people decades and even centuries back is the issue of single parenting. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.

The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.

That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.

Single parenthood, in that sense, can be taken in as a punishment of some sorts, to the people who disobey the teachings of the church. But radical thinkers think otherwise. So, is it?

Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.

Your great grandparents must be really turning up their graves of they could be able to hear such statistics. How times have changed!
Thus, single parents and their children both need professional help through counseling. Reasonable advise and guides should be given both to the child and the single parent to make sure both of them deal with past, present and future issues from single parenting.

Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.

Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. Probably, it can be because of the immunity due to the rising number of single parents. Anyway, it can be positive because at least, single parents choose to be productive.

Different Effects of Single Parenting to Children and Single Parents

effects of single parentingWhat are effects of single parenting to adult? Single parenting is a tough and very challenging task. Many single parents suffer the negative effects of single parenting.

Financial struggles is one of the negative effects of single parenting. This, however, can be solve by finding a job that can support both you and child. Single parents can also find a job within their local community that may afford them to sustain the needs of their children.

Single Parents should also learn to cut the cost of their daily expenses such as food, transportation, personal cost and child cost. Single parents should learn how to save their time and energy because they are playing two roles for their children.

Cost cutting of food expenses like shopping food once a week with a list in your hand to lessen impulse buying. Shopping food alone at discounted grocery stores than in convenient stores with high prices may help you save some bucks too. Also, plan your meals for one week. As much as possible, use your electrical appliances efficiently.

Your personal and child cost can be cut by exchanging or sharing your services with friends like babysitting, window washing and gardening. You can also barter your talents like typing, sewing and painting. You can also trim your child’s hair by your own.

One of the negative effects of single parenting is isolation. You can overcome this by getting support from your family, relatives and friends and even social groups in your community. Try to mingle and participate in your church activities and activities held by your community.

The lack of support, another negative effects of single parenting, can be remedied by establishing a connection and communication to the people around you. Communication is important for every single parent to make others understand their situation and gain support from them.

Emotional distress, also one of the negative effects of single parenting, can be conquered by letting yourself go on an emotion process aided by a professional. This emotional process is management of emotion from denial, anger, depression, bargaining and until you reach acceptance.

What are the effects of single parenting to children?

Not only adults suffer the negative effects of single parenting. In fact, children are the most affected by it. Children being raised with this type of parenting are in high risk of experiencing behavioral and emotional distress due to stress.

They may also have a hard time to adjust to their present situation a divorce or death of one of their parents. Children sometimes become confused, lonely, fearful, sad and angry.

There's a solution to the negative effects of single parenting. If single parents will only have an open mind, they will understand that children needs proper care and enough love to understand and fight the negative effects of single parenting.

How to reduce the negative effects of single parenting?

Healing your child from the negative effects of single parenting may be started by engaging your child into different activities that they love. Sports are good examples of activities that can help single parents and their children forget the hardships or traumatic experiences that they have gone through.

For married couples who are planning for a divorce, let your child know what's really happening with your relationship. Talk to your child and assure them that they are not the reason for the divorce.

To reduce the negative effects of single parenting, single parents must talk to their children. Always. Let them express their feeling about the divorce, about the moving, and changing of schools. Let your children know that whatever happens to the marriage, you still love them. Parents, as much as possible, must settle their difference amicably so that their children can adapt easily to the situation and to lessen the tension on their part.

Children need security, a loving, nurturing and healthy environment for better emotional growth and psychological development. Whatever kind of family you have, children will grow up to be fine men or women even if they are a product of single parenting. It’s up to the single parent how they will raise their child into a loving and respectful person.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Ethnic Single Parenting

POSITIVE PARENTING - Ethnic Single Parenting

Ethnic studies have discovered that 90% of single parents are women, while in 1995 32% of Black families are single parent households with dependent children. Only 8% of White families are single parent households and 7% in South Asian families.

Around half of Black women aged 30 and above are primary income generators in single parent households, while only one in ten among South Asian women have this scenario. Such figures indicate the sharp difference of Black and White single parent households.

Other ethnic studies of black and white women ages 15 and 44 found that family disruption is a major concern in future choices of children in terms of childbearing and marriage. An ethnic study conducted by Bumpass and McLanahan found that the daughters of single mothers have a:

- 53% chance of being married during their teen years
- 111% change of having teenage births
- 164% change of having premarital births
- 92% chance of experiencing their own marital-related problems.

The developing behavior of girls that grew up and having their father die early also leads to different effect.

- Black children are not significantly affected if their mother is widowed early in life.
- Parental family status does not have a considerable impact on whether white or black girls who grew up in families would get married again after getting divorced.
- The results show that when family background traits are kept constant.

Bumpass and McLanahan arrived on the conclusion that the finding give strong evidence that women who spend a portion of their livelihood in a single parent environment have a bigger chance of getting married and bearing children early, to have children out of wedlock and have major martial issues that will likely end in divorce.

Regardless of what ethnic group you are in, being a single parent is hard. Those coping with being a single parent normally feel the following: sadness, abandonment, confusion, guilt, fear of being alone, and anxiety. The following advises are crucial to help fight combat these feelings:

1) Forgive and forget – Letting go of unwanted feelings can make one feel happier and lighter. Holding on to anger provides more stress that letting go. Forgetting will make more bearable for you to move on and possibly develop a relationship, and preserving your relationship with your kids.

2) Maintain network and ties with your community – Having honorary uncles and aunts in the community develops camaraderie between the kid and the neighbourhood, and the parent and the neighbourhood. It also enables children better understand that creating relationships is an helpful way to forget the bad feelings that they felt during the divorce of their parents.

3) A sense of accomplishment – When a child is assigned with small tasks, a sense of accomplishment is normally felt. Since additional responsibilities have been given, a feeling of openness is added. This is due to the fact that a goal has been achieved to assist in the household. This makes the child feel that he is an integral member of the household.

4) Take responsibility – Before, the responsibility of caring for the family was shared between two individuals. Now, only one is tasked to provide for the whole family. Taking responsibility gives power to a single parent to be extra careful in making decision and managing the family. In addition, the parent can request assistance from the children on major decisions such as what items are essential in the grocery

5) Do not forget the old habits– Children need stability in their lives after a traumatic divorce. Rituals as going to dinner every Wednesday or the parent fetching the child from school every Friday should be kept. In this way, the child will feel that even if the parents are divorce, the good rituals are still there.

6) Different experience for the child - Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can further broaden his perception on how life should be tackled. The child is more receptive and aware to what goes around him, and accepts that the world is not perfect.

Effect of Single Parenting On A Child

Positive parenting - Single Parenting

In today’s generation, people are more liberated. And because of that, a lot of things are going on today that was never heard of before. Say for example, the concept of being a single parent. Single parents are scattered all over the world, so we can’t say that it is because of culture or economic status. Rich or poor, a lot of single parents are out there.

So is being a single parent bad? Some would say that they would prefer to be a single parent. Some would say that having a mom and a dad is still proper for a child. Some experts have pointed out some bad traits on children with single parents.

They say that having a single parent has certain effects on a child.

Of course, some effects are good but some are also bad. Since a lot of single parents are dealing with their children by themselves, it is important that you notice and discuss some good and bad effects of solo parenting.

Let us start on the good effects of being a single parent. As an effect of being a single parent, you will be very close to your child or children. You will be the only one they will look up to and you will have their undivided unconditional love. You will also be the only authority they will look up to.

You will be able to have all of their respect and love, making it easy for you to make rules and also for them to follow. In your family, there will be no pairing up or partnership between members. Your family will be very close and the single parent will be in full control.

Close family ties s the greatest effect a single parent can have on a child. The child and single parent will have a very good, if not best, and a very open relationship.

They will have a good communication line and no secrets will be kept from each other. They will share everything with each other that will lead to a harmonious relationship between parent and child.

So if you look at it, being a single parent will be great considering the fact that how good your relationship would be as parent and child. But being a single parent also has its flaws. The difference may have some not so good effects on your child.

Of course, a normal family consists of a mother, a father and the children. In the case of a single parent, a mother or a father is missing. Because of that, it is no longer normal. And as you know, the society looks down on anything that is not normal. The child might start feeling that he or she is different. And that may have some unwanted psychological effects on the child.

One example that might bring the child’s feeling down is when his or her peers start teasing him or her for having only one parent. He or she might start thinking that having one parent is bad and the child points out the blame to his or her parent. The child will have a gap with the parent that will be very hard to fill up.

Another problem that may arise as an effect of being a single parent on a child is his or her lack of either a father figure or a mother to care for him or her. The child might seek for someone that has never been there and it might be a cause for the child to be hard-headed.

The child might also get jealous seeing other kids with complete parents. The child may become disturbed because of that. The child might be looking for complete parents in some special occasions that usually require two parents like father’s day or mother’s day.

As a single parent, you have to answer all the financial needs of your family. So that means you have to work for you to feed them. You can’t really spend much time with your children so that you can have a good life. You will really have a hard time teaching them values because you are not always at home.

Always remember that it is not about being a single parent. It is about how you bring up your children and the time you spend with them. And also being how efficient you are as a parent, single or not.

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